Please Come Visit

...our new blog: LIVING IN THE LIGHT

First Week of Preschool Re-cap

From the preschool teacher: 

The girls are doing GREAT! Both of them have really surprised me. Bridget is such a different little girl than she was last fall - following directions, using her words, I can even have a conversation with her... I LOVE IT! Alina has adjusted so well, too. She is a bright little girl. I am amazed by how well she seems to understand and follow directions. She LOVES circle time and is very attentive to what is happening in front of her. All in all, they are off to a great start!  The girls had a WONDERFUL week - you would be so proud of both of them! You are more than welcome to pop in any time or even just watch through the window. They are doing great things!

First Day of Preschool 2010-11

On the Bus - Bridget is Happy :)

Alina Waves Goodbye

Bridget:  "Yippee!" -  Alina:  "What on Earth?"

Sitting Together

Walking in - Ready for the Day!

An Orphan No More (Loving Alina)

From LOST to LOVED, watch the transformation in our beautiful Alina in just four short months...

A Glimpse

...of life over here :).

More soon...I promise.

Popsicles, Pools, and Pedicures

Summer is here :)...
Bridget and Alina both have pink toenails :)...They are enjoying popsicles and the little baby pool in our backyard...
Emmy is a great helper with her little sisters. They both adore her!

Alina is always making this face:

And this one :)...I have so much more to say, and so little time...now that summer is here and all the kids are, too ;).

Happy Anniversary to Reece's Rainbow!

Today, Reece's Rainbow is celebrating 4 years of finding homes for orphans with special needs.

It isn't a secret that we feel strongly about the worth of people with Down syndrome, and about the important work that RR is doing. The number of children with disabilities that are hidden away overseas is staggering.

We know firsthand the beauty and promise that are being tossed aside in the many, many children waiting patiently for someone to find them and bring them home. Reece's Rainbow is the voice for a growing number of these children. But there is still great need.

Here is just one example: This precious little girl needs a family. She's captured my heart, but the most I can do right now is advocate for her. Who else loves her? Who will be her Yes? Who is going to go get her and help her find her smile again??

Jessie (Jessica) (23)

Girl, Born October 22, 2007

Jessie is darling!!! Brown hair and brown eyes, and totally healthy. Perfect age to benefit from early intervention, and to join her new family!

Here is another picture of Jessie, when she was little (look at this smile!):


**Jessie's birthday is the same day as our Sara's :). She is in an orphanage in Eastern Europe just waiting for someone to love her and tell her she's home for good. If she is not adopted before she turns 4, she will be sent to a mental institution. Jessie does have Down syndrome, but is otherwise healthy.

If you would like to be Jessie's mama and papa, or if you would like more information on her, contact Andrea (you can find her contact info on the RR website). If you are not in a position to adopt, but would like to help Jessie find a family, please follow the link to her page on Reece's Rainbow (Children 0-2 with Down syndrome--you can donate at the top of the page, or scroll down to Orphanage 23 to find her profile). To contribute to her adoption fund, give directly to RR via Paypal or check and specify Jessie (23).

A Choice?

Last December, when Chris and I told the kids about Alina and her need for a home, they were shocked that her parents were willing to "give her away"--in particular because they are aware of the stereotypes about Down syndrome and how Bridget defies them.

Chris and I did not truly understand, until we traveled, that people with disabilities do not have a place in the world in Eastern Europe. Scratch that. They do have a place--and unfortunately, it is behind a closed door. There is no support for parents wanting to raise children with special needs, and society does not condone raising them in public.

I am not making a value judgment. Twenty-five years ago, it was the same situation in the United States.

When we had court, we heard details about Alina's parents--their names, their address--that they were married when she was born and that they are still together. We saw their signatures on the abandonment decree they signed in the presence of a notary when Alina was two months old (per Ukrainian law--they had left her at the hospital when she was two days old, but waited until the last minute to sign, after blood tests came back confirming that she did have Down syndrome).

I sobbed in the quiet of the court room as we heard details about them.

Alina's full name was absolutely beautiful. Her middle name was the female version of her dad's name.

Her parents were both in their mid-twenties when they had her, and her mom had two miscarriages before Alina was born (full term, weighing about 7 lbs and measuring 22 inches).

They wanted her. They did. We are sure of it. I should clarify. We are sure they wanted her before they knew she had Down syndrome. We have no idea how they felt when they found out--but it meant that they could not keep the baby they had wanted--and we can guess that they were devastated.

We ache for them. As a mom, I can only imagine the pain her birth mom feels having her gone. Even if she was able to rationalize the decision to release Alina for adoption, and even if she would never want to raise a child with Ds, her mom has to feel the physical absence of her daughter.

And she has to wonder what happened to her little girl.

We look at Alina and we see a child who is so worthy of love, who would have surprised and elated her parents on a daily basis. We see a little girl who would have made a great big sister, a great daughter, a great grand-daughter.

We have to assume that her mom and dad would have been as blown away with her as we are...

Life at Home Since Alina's Arrival: Thoughts from Her Siblings

Emmy, almost 8

What is it like having a new sister?

I'm glad to have a new roommate in my room! It was lonely when I was by myself before Bridget was born. Then once she was there, it was better, but there was still space. It is more crowded, but now it's like a big party in our room :)!

It is exciting having a new sister because we had never seen her before. We had no idea what she would look like and be like.

Tell me about Alina...

Well, she's playful, sweet and loving...and a big eater! She does things that a lot of little kids might not know how to do, like dressing herself and pretending to pour tea into a cup. She just knows a lot. She's my sister and I love her.


Brian, 11

What do you think about having a new sister? What is it like having her here with us?

It's fun and exciting to see the new stuff that she does (like exploring, showing her imagination). It's sort of crazy times two--with Bridget--and a lot more humor.

What is good about Alina?

How much she knows right now, how fun and cute she is to play with.

Have things changed at home since we added another child?

Nope, not really :).


Kyle, 13

Tell me what you think about having Alina home...

It's awesome. She's cool and she's funny and she's sweet. And it's good to know that we saved someone's life. It's good to share {with others} that people with Down syndrome should get a chance. And Bridget has a buddy now.

What has been hard about the adoption?

It was hard that my parents had to leave and be gone from us, but it all paid off. I don't see a downside {to adoption}.


Sara, 14

What is it like now that Alina is finally here?

Having her home has been really smooth. It's like she fit in right where she was supposed to. Having her here didn't completely change our schedule. And it is a really good thing for her. She really needed us.

How do you think she has changed since she's been here?

In the beginning, she seemed unsure in her new environment but she's adapted to us really quickly--and in this short amount of time she's a part of our family.

What do you enjoy about Alina?

I love her smile and her laugh. Some people give a half-hearted smile or laugh. But she doesn't waste them. Every time, she means it.

Alina & Bridget

Many people have asked how the two little girls in our family are adjusting to each other--and how they interact. So here it is, a post devoted to our dynamic duo :)...

Sisters:



Bridget and Alina went from not knowing each other to doing everything together. For a three year old, that has to be confusing--and for two little girls who have been forced into a forever partnership overnight, they are doing exactly what we had expected--and hoped for. They are busy being kids, and in the process are learning about being sisters.

When we first brought Alina home, the two girls were very much in their own individual worlds. They played side-by-side, rather than together, were sometimes amused by the presence of the other and sometimes seemed to be simply tolerating each other.

Within the span of one week, they were already beginning to expect (and enjoy) that they would both be doing whatever we were doing, that they would both be going wherever we were going.

Surprisingly, there has been very little jealousy, if any.

We've had our moments, as you would expect, when one of them takes a toy, pulls hair or pushes the other. We have our squabbles that would be typical of any toddlers permanently inhabiting the same spaces, playing with shared items, interested in getting help and attention from the same people. And yes, that mop has been used as a weapon--by both girls.

But our two youngest girls are working it out.

Bridget has figured out that Alina (while she usually means well), is rough. She tends to take a wide arc around her little sister and gives Alina the Heisman when she needs to get by her. She has been saying, Nee-yet, Nuh-Nuh! (No, Alina!), which is very funny to hear. (She is also often overheard saying, Nuh-Nuh, CUTE!)

Bridget and Alina take care of each other. If one is out of Cheerios or crackers, the other will usually share willingly. They point to each other's empty bowls. They offer each other sips from a cup and wipe each other's noses. Bridget has a delicate touch, and Alina seems happy to be "helped" by her. Alina, on the other hand, comes at Bridget with an intense expression, and Bridget looks stunned as Alina firmly presses a sippy cup to her lips or wipes her nose with vigor.

But Alina coughs and Bridget shouts, CUP! Okay? If Bridget wakes up before Alina, she tells me, Mommy, Nuh-Nuh...check! (check on Alina!).

And when Bridget is in school and Alina goes somewhere with me in the car, she points to Bridget's carseat, saying Buh? (where's Bridget?).

When they are playing with each other, Bridget and Alina like to take care of baby dolls, spread out a napkin and dishes on the family room floor, and "clean" house :).


They are double trouble, for sure :). They're also double the LOVE.




Up next: Notes from our family discussion on Alina and answers to questions about Alina's transition and assimilation process.

ALL ABOUT ALINA

We have enjoyed getting to know Alina over the past six weeks! Here is what we have learned about our newest little girl:

Alina is self-assured, adaptable and good-natured. She is curious and active, with definite ideas and seemingly boundless energy.

She is alert—and very observant. She smiles and laughs easily. She’s interested in people and enjoys social interaction. She likes to give “fist bumps,” and “fives” and “high one’s” (with her index finger). She waves at every. single. person. she sees at the grocery store.

Alina likes to try to do things for herself. We believe she began walking just over 6 months ago, so she is still really a “toddler” and can be wobbly at times. That does not stop her from trying anything. She does not hold back—she’s on a mission, and does literally everything with purpose.

Alina is very sharp--she is a quick study. She understands how to play with toys (which buttons to push, how they work). She is a little Houdini, and has figured out how to get out of her crib and how to take her Onesies off by slipping them over her shoulders and down. (Notice the ribbon tie on the picture above...it works! For now.) Chris keeps saying, Don't show Alina how you did that! (unhooking a safety latch on the cabinet, or getting her out of the harness on her carseat, for example). She watches once, and it is over :).

Alina is an interesting mixture of active and content. As seen in the last post, she plays with gusto. She works hard at playing. She plays for long periods of time (by herself or with others), and has a very good attention span (if, of course, the object or activity is something she is interested in!).

Like most children, she likes to be praised and does not like to be scolded.

Alina is expressive. (Who knew, from her profile pictures??)

She enjoys: eating, books, phones, pretend play (baby dolls, cleaning, kitchen), things she can carry (purses, bags and buckets), and playing “dress up” (i.e., dressing and undressing).

Her speech is delayed (though we are not sure exactly how much since her native language is Russian!), but her total communication is quite good. She not only understands much of what we ask of her in English, but she is also beginning to communicate some of her wants and needs using a variety of strategies (facial expressions, sounds, gestures, signs). She is beginning to repeat sounds for us as well.

Since Alina has been home, she has learned to say: book, more (“muh”), cup (“puh”), mama, hi, and “Buh!” for Bridget.

She is signing: more, apple, gentle, sad, and cup. She waves “hi” and “bye-bye”.


Alina keeps us running...and smiling...and giving thanks on an hourly basis.

She is a delightful child, who is so full of life and potential. She is a wonderful daughter...

...and we feel lucky to be able to call her our own...


Up next: Alina & Bridget--how they are adjusting and NEW PICS :)

Whistle While You Work

So we have discovered that Alina is a little "worker bee"--she works/plays hard.

She loves the cleaning set I got for Bridget last year (Bridget likes it, too). And she is thorough. When she mops, she gets underneath and behind the furniture. She moves stuff to clean under it, too.



We sat down as a family tonight to talk about life with Alina, how things have changed (or not) since she arrived, and how we feel about her.

I have pictures, details, descriptions and stories to share over the next few days. I'll answer the questions people have asked about her assimilation process and about how the rest of the group has done with a new little sister.

Feel free to ask any questions through the comments section here or via email. I'll try to get to each request :). Please stay tuned...

These Two Little Girls

...are keeping me busy :)!

Video--Gotcha Day

While we were in Ukraine, Chris took several short videos with his Blackberry.

I hope to share more of our trip, of what we did and saw while we were there. But as I was looking over the videos Chris uploaded onto my computer last night, the following seems like a good place to start, even though it is not at the beginning of our trip.

It is the beginning of Alina's new life.

The day we took Alina out of the orphanage...forever:

Two Weeks In...

Tomorrow, we will have been home for two weeks. Alina and I will celebrate by going to the International Adoption Clinic for her comprehensive check-up :). I have spent the past few days writing out all the important details that we have learned about Alina's health history and development in preparation for the appointment. I will also take along her vaccination record and notes from the head doctor at the orphanage where Alina had been living. I will post a re-cap of her appointment here sometime next week.


It is hard to believe that we met Alina less than a month ago. We feel like we have known her forever.

This little girl is so busy and curious. She is such a bundle of love.

She is very sociable and giggles easily. She has had nothing of her own, yet she willingly shares her food and toys. She is a sturdy little girl who craves affection and gives it right back. When she comes in for a hug, she lunges toward you, grinning with her arms wide open. She rarely cries, but when she does, she is easily consoled.

A few details that several people have asked about:

Alina was confused at first by physical affection. We gave her space to start, and when we first began to hug and kiss her, she looked at us like, what is that? and moved slightly away. Within a few days, though, she realized that having people love her felt pretty nice. One day at the orphanage, she scratched her arm and I came right over to ask if she was hurt. She looked up, appearing to be a bit confused by me kissing her arm. She paused, then smiled, then went right over to Chris and lifted her arm to his mouth so he would kiss her boo-boo, too. She's all about the love now. Instead of leaning away, she leans toward us. Loving a child who has been abandoned and hasn't known love, and having them love you back--it feels like Heaven.

Alina is eating, drinking and sleeping well. She seems to like most everything we have fed her, except Brussels sprouts (not a surprise) and mashed potatoes (a surprise). She does prefer food and drinks to be warm (everything was warmed in the orphanage), but she won't refuse items that are cold. She is drinking apple juice, water and rice milk from a sippy cup. (She can drink from an open cup, but needs supervision because she tends to play in it, or pour some of it if left unattended. She wasn't given milk in the orphanage, as far as we know, so we are introducing dairy slowly.) She naps once a day, for about two hours, and sleeps soundly from about 8 p.m. to 7 a.m.

Alina doesn't love diaper wipes. Scratch that. She loves diaper wipes, just not when we are wiping her bottom with them :). We don't know what they used in the orphanage (maybe a warm cloth?).

She doesn't mind baths, although we assume she had never had one until she got here. She really likes to splash the water, so her baths are quick :). We also assume she did not have any sort of dental care in the orphanage. She cleans her teeth with her tongue when she lays down to sleep at night. It is sweet and sad. She has let me brush her teeth right from the start, which is crazy. I have no idea why it doesn't bother her. Her gums bled a little at first, even though I was super careful. They are not bleeding anymore. And yes, the pediatric dentist is on our list of visits to make soon.

Alina doesn't watch t.v. (although she likes the remote and knows exactly how to use it--they had a t.v. in her groupa's room), but she does seem to like one show: American Idol. It's true. I have no idea why Dora the Explorer does not hold her attention, but American Idol does. (Dang, I wish I had the whole season recorded!)

The staff at the orphanage was able to tell us two things about Alina (in English): Alina clever.... and Alina messy. Holy cow, were they ever right on both accounts :).

Alina is doing so well developmentally. She is very sharp and able. Her spoken language is her largest delay as far as we can tell, although she is making lots of sounds (like Boo, Woo, Oof, Ha Ha, Huh!), and she has started to say some words in English, too, like HI! and more ("muh"), which she has also learned to sign. Alina understands much of what we say to her in English and is fairly compliant :). She loves to hear Russian words--she smiles when she hears them--and will do everything we ask of her in Russian. She's lucky our Russian-language skills are limited ;).

Bridget and Alina spent about a week sizing each other up :). Bridget realized quickly that Alina tends to stumble and will squash her when she falls, so Bridget would gladly wave and smile at Alina, but kept a safe distance from her "little" sister. For the first week or so, I would say that the girls tolerated one another and were amused by each other. They both seem to know that the other one isn't going anywhere, and they seem to be happy with that :).

They are really beginning to enjoy each other. They will wave to each other and smile. They like to hold hands, or touch their index fingers together. They "share" food items and cups (which is lovely, in truth as well as in sarcasm). Bridget tries to help Alina by making sure we are aware of her apparent needs and status on a moment-to-moment basis.


Bridget calls Alina sissy and nuh-nuh, but it is usually uh-nuh-nuh. Things I hear often: uh-nuh-nuh...mess; uh-nuh-nuh...cup; uh-nuh-nuh cryin'; uh-nuh-nuh cracker...me, cracker.

There have been some very funny moments already with the two of them. On the way home from dance class last night, Alina and Bridget were in their carseats, both double fist-pumping to AC/DC "You Shook Me All Night Long". It was classic.

Bridget and Alina are very similar in some ways: they both like dolls and books and food and being around people. Despite very different body types, they are also almost exactly the same height and weight and wear the same size shoe.

Our three-year-olds are also polar opposites in some ways. Bridget tends to be very dainty and gentle. When she falls or drops something she says Oopsie in a sweet little voice. Alina is a bit of a bull in a china closet. She is not the most gentle creature, but then again--neither am I :). When she falls or drops something, she says OOF! It is hilarious.


Bridget likes to be clean and gets grossed-out easily (she is often heard saying Ewww! for one reason or another). Alina is a disaster half the time. Bridget keeps a napkin beside her yogurt in the morning and wipes her mouth throughout. She isn't always clean, but she tries.

Alina, on the other hand, eats her yogurt with wild abandon--just how she does most other things :). She has it everywhere from her eyebrows to her elbows.

Yesterday, Bridget looked over at Alina (right when I took the above picture) and whispered, mess. Yep, she's a mess alright :). A beautiful, busy mess, who we are lucky enough to call our own.

Watching the Girls Outside

Am I Dreaming? (A Family of Her Own)

Happy Girl

Sisters

Q & A

I didn't get a chance to answer everyone's questions while we were in Ukraine, so I will try to get to some of the questions left in our comments section. Please email me or leave comments here with anything else I can answer for those who are interested in knowing more about our adoption process or experience with Alina.

Q. I tried to follow your time line you have listed and wanted to ask you, did you only have to make one trip to Ukraine for Alina? If so, wow...how did you guys pull that off?

Q. Please give me your secret.... things have gone so well for you hope I have the same luck. Will you have to wait the 10 days?

Q. Are you kidding?!?!? That was the fastest court ever! And the 10 day wait will be waived?!?!? Is Marina your facilitator?

A. Since there have been many questions about our quick timeline, I'll try to address several issues at once.

I am happy to answer questions about our adoption process. Each family's experience is different. Even families traveling to the same orphanage can have wildly different experiences based on many factors (such as specific facilitators, judges, groupas, etc.). Even slight adjustments in adoption policies or requirements, or the political climate in a country can have large impact as well. Things that are out of our control, such as power outages, national holidays, a particular person being on vacation--or a VOLCANO (!)--can come into play in any adoption and make a difference on timeline and cost. Flexibility, creativity, determination and faith are all key.

The disclaimer: Please know that whatever I write about refers specifically to our experience which may or may not be similar to what others have experienced or will experience.

With that said...we were in a VERY FAST region and had a lot of good luck while in country.

We made one trip and were gone for exactly 18 days. We were in region for only 6 of those days. We had a few extra days in Kiev at the beginning (because our SDA appointment fell on a Thursday afternoon and we couldn't get the referral paperwork/travel in time to get started in region on Friday...so we had to wait until Monday to begin there). We were in Kiev an extra few days on the back end because of the volcano and difficulty getting a flight out.

Once we got to Alina's town, we did not have to wait for any of our documentation or appointments, which is unusual. We were also fortunate to have received our Interpol Clearances, which are done in batches, exactly when we needed them. Alina was actually born in Zaporozhye, so that made things easier for us as well.

In addition, many of the officials were sympathetic to our cause. The 10 day wait is often waived where we were, and the "old" passports (the red as opposed to the blue) are still available and are produced locally, so they can be done very quickly. Our wait was waived and we were able to get the old passport for Alina.

I cannot say enough about our Rock Star facilitators (Serge, Yulia, Marina) and what they did for us. They ran the show and know exactly what they are doing. We just went where we were told to go and did what we were asked to do. They handled everything else.

Q. I should know this, but can you remind us how old she (Alina) is?

A. She turned 3 in March. Bridget will turn 4 at the end of July.

Q. How did you raise funds so quickly? Do you have any suggestions for us? We have not made any commitment yet because the cost of the adoption process is a bit daunting. Any suggestions would be great. I know you are very busy, so whenever you get a chance that would be encouraging to hear how you dealt with the cost.

A. We had money set aside for something else, which we applied to Alina's adoption instead. Fundraising is often one of the most daunting aspects of International Adoptions. We do know several families who have been very successful in raising money for their adoptions. It seems like the most important things are creativity and persistence--and being willing to ask anyone and everyone for help.

Q. You will be on the look out for Tanner, won't you? If you see him, tell him mommy and daddy are coming?

A. I feel so sad that we couldn't get to see the other kids we were looking for! We tried many times to see the other RR children, with no luck. The kids are just so spread out, and they are behind closed doors. The groupas do not interact as far as we could tell. The orphanage also has several buildings, and there is no way to know who is where. Access is very limited, even within the rooms of your child's groupa. Paperwork is required to enter any room at the orphanage, and we only had paperwork for Alina's room.

Q. Are there any kids with Ds in her groupa?

A. There were no other children with Ds in Alina's groupa. We only saw one little boy with Ds outside being pushed in a stroller by a visitor. He was little--maybe 1 1/2 years old. We did not recognize him. (The kids were all in snowsuits and hats when they were outside, which is the only chance we had to see other children, so it was very hard to get a good look at them!) We recognized "Bella"--other angels--though, in Alina's groupa. We were able to observe and photograph her for the family who is coming for her :).

Q. Lisa, the picture of Alina doing your hair reminds me of you doing mine as a little girl! :) Did she yank it very hard? HA!

A. Ah, paybacks Marcy :)! Alina LOVES to brush hair, and she is so sweet when she does it. She is very careful. She did decide that she likes to try to pull my hair at other times though. It is not in an aggressive way...it happens more when she is excited...like wow, we're having fun now! Yippee for me and my way-too-long hair. Guess who will be wearing lots of ponytails and buns for a while ;)?